Soul Away

Last night I almost gave my soul away.

I lay there in bed, still, as if in meditation. Flat on my back and hands on my sides. I steady my breathing and let energy ricochet through my mind…and when I felt her trying to leave…I let her. I didn’t fight for my life.

I let her go.

But as soon as she began to kiss the chilled air of my room, I began to miss her. I began to write her a story of promise. Then she gazed upon my face and said,

“There’s more to this story,” but there was a freedom she too wanted to taste.

She floated around my space with a trail that never separated us. Then full of her own anger and frustration she broke loose, and I died. She looked around noticing loose ends and jigsaw pieces. Paper and colored pencils. Books of all kinds. Evidence of trying to figure out self-love, forgiveness, hurt, and stubbornness.

“She was trying.”

She floated back to my body and hovered there. Disappointment made her punch me. Hurt made her slap me. Resentment made her cry over me. Love made her hesitant to reach out for me, questioning if she wanted to return to this. Then she said,

“You deserve another try.”

We fought to become one again. I am dormant and she wants me to rise to the woman she saw around my space. She has seen the evidence of me wanting more for myself. She has seen the tussle of life all around my space and empathy let her reason with me.

There is a fear I have. A fear of never living up to meet my highest self. A fear of being the person full of potential, but won’t live long enough to see it: truth. It may just be a fear of my own strength and power – she knows this. She knows me all too well and for that, she reasons with me.

She eases my fears. Kicks them all to the curb and ushers in the purity of my soul that I have had hidden in the pits for quite some time. She let my soul know it was safe.

The three of us aligned with harmony in love.

I breathed again. And my heart beat a little bit stronger.