i.

i look for myself in all the boys i meet

i beg them to love me. i love myself

i ask them to kiss me. i feel my lips

i want them to hold me. i make use of my arms

i pray they confess their love. i remain silent

i look for myself in all the boys i meet

i am afraid

of failure and false notions

of years of lies i told myself

how long it will take to unlearn them

how long will it take to unlearn them?

i look for myself in all the boys i meet

because

if i stop looking

i am afraid of what i might find