The Twenty-First Search
photo by Alec Lesser
I’ve cut ties with you but the string is still wrapping around my membrane
holding together the memories of what felt right.
Nebulous sentiments I made certain.
I’ve told some I love them and confronted those I’ve given love to
later realizing tenderness doesn’t traverse uncertainty.
You may not make your way back to me each time.
I’ve let go of parts of me un-serving,
but I wear them as layers, unraveling
to share when your truths are worn bare.
I am finally who I’ve said I was, along with who I want to be.
…an elusive combination of previous desires and dreams
I haven’t slept with yet.
I am so glad to be alone in this moment.
Maybe you can hear me
telling the you of me tomorrow, how much I’ve loved me today,
and will love you more tomorrow.
I am grateful infinitely
Filled with an unwavering love to love,
content with knowing I can’t take anything I’ve gotten to the end,
I seek to leave behind all I can give.
Take me away from my notion of self.
I won’t get lost
I am already found in a part of us
and I find myself here, maybe sometimes better than I do in me.